If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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