i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
