i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
