Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
