she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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