didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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