i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You've changed since you got that strap on
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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