I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
