So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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