My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Randomize
