so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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