I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
