Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just found puke in my bra..
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
