That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
