white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
