the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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