i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
