I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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