We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
