May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
