I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
