you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
