i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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