He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize