I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
