i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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