I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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