we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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