he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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