Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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