I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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