it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
