I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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