Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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