I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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