that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize