hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
