Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
