My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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