Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
