Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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