The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
