Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
