I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Liz is crying about burritos again.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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