WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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