this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
