So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize