you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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