yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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