can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
