We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
