hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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