ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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