you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
