he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
