Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
