She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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