my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
