You can't motorboat a personality
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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